My Radical Confession

I have a radical confession to make: 
 
I am not Orthodox.  Or Religious.
 
Yup, my husband is a Chabad Rabbi, I am a Chabad Rebbetzin.  And I detest those denominational titles.  Have I gone mad?  Have I rebelled?  Maybe in the philosophical sense of today's world. 
 
Today's world demands labels. 
 
Labels make us feel important, belonging.
 
I live (not in a home), in a town-house/condo/gated community...
 
I drive (not a car), a Mazda/Lexus/Honda...
 
I go (not to College) to Moorpark/Harvard...
 
I am (not a Jew), Reform/Orthodox/Conservative*.
 
When we can label ourselves (or better yet, buy membership to really own our label), we don't just feel important, we become "more Jewish."

 

But here's the good news:  You don't have to do anything to become "more Jewish."  You don't have to pay membership, or have a huge bar mitzvah.  That is because your Jewishness is your essence, not something that you can become more of or less of.  What you can do is express it, through Torah and mitzvot. Some express it constantly -- some once in a while -- some once a year!
 
Because our Jewishness is our essence, there is no Jew that is more Jewish than another, it is simply a part of us that can never be destroyed.  In a bizarre way, the Nazis knew this.  It infuriated them.  It fueled their attempt to rid the world of this irritatingly stubborn people with immortal souls.  It didn't matter if one tried to denounce his Judaism, or even convert, the Nazis reminded them, once a Jew, always a Jew.  

 

This essence reveals itself differently among us.  From the agnostic woman who is suddenly griped with fear, realizing that her children are getting older and have not yet had a Jewish education, to the vulnerable elderly man who hasn't been to Shul in sixty years who is grateful when he is assigned to a Jewish doctor, to a little toddler who reaches up to kiss a faraway mezuzah, to a carefree teenager who cranks up the radio volume when she hears news of Israel, we all have these revelations-many of which we can't quite explain to others, let alone to ourselves.  But for it to be more than a mere flickering flame in the darkness, to fully reveal this precious essence, to fully experience and celebrate it, we have Torah and mitzvot to do**.

 

There are three types:  Some that do some mitzvot, some that do a bit more, and some that do yet more.
 
So who am I then, you ask?  I'm exactly like you and the 14 million others on this planet:
 
I am simply, a Jew.
 
*While these denominations were created with good intentions-to make Jews feel that they belong, and unite them, it has only served to divide us, for now one often feels that he does not "belong" in a shul other than his own, because he is not Reform/Orthodox/Conservative.